Back in the day, we were promised that computers would make life easier. Easier! All I remember was wrestling with printers that jammed if you so much as looked at them, waiting forever while that little hourglass twirled on the screen, and watching Solitaire cheat me out of victory like a rigged pinball machine at the corner café.
Along Comes Artificial Intelligence
And when we finally figured out how to send an email without accidentally forwarding it to the entire bowling league, along comes “artificial intelligence.” AI, they call it. Personally, I call it the nosy nephew who eats all your pie, lectures you about cholesterol, and then “borrows” money you’ll never see again.
Here to Help?
Artificial Intelligence swears it’s here to help. Sure. Mention “my back hurts” once, and suddenly you’re buried in ads for braces, heating pads, and recliners that look like they belong on the Starship Enterprise. Honestly, it listens harder than my old party line neighbors.
Take these “smart” gadgets. I bought one of those robot vacuums—mistake of the year. Did it clean the crumbs? No. It circled me like a suspicious mall cop, chased my slippers across the living room, and nearly herded me into the recliner. When I unplugged it, I swear it growled. Give me a broom and strong knees any day.
And the voice assistants? “Alexa, call my daughter,” I said politely. Instead, it blared The Lawrence Welk Show theme at full blast, bubbles and all. I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or grab my accordion.
To be fair, some features are handy. AI reminds me to take my meds, sets timers so dinner doesn’t come out like roofing shingles, and even translates Spanish if I finally cash in those S&H Green Stamps for a trip to Cancun. Beats flipping through a phrasebook where the page you need is always missing.
No Robots Will Replace Us
But don’t worry, friends. No robot will replace us. Machines can’t sniff out a bargain at a garage sale, haggle over a toaster, or patiently teach a grandkid to drive in the church parking lot without losing your religion. Those skills are timeless.
So, here’s my advice: don’t fear the bots. Mock them, sass them, and unplug them when they misbehave. We survived typewriters, rotary phones, and VCRs flashing “12:00.” A little artificial intelligence? Child’s play.
And if that robot vacuum lunges at your slippers again—remember, we still know how to pull the plug.
This article was written in the voice of a senior citizen, with a little (or a lot of) help from artificial intelligence itself.
